Severus Can Handle It
by hairymclary
Summary: AU. The war has just ended and Dumbledore has an angry visitor. One-shot. Angsty. Deathfic sort of .


Severus Can Handle It

"_You said you would protect them!"_

Albus looked up in time to see a furious Severus storm into his office. He nodded at Pomona as she sidled out of the room: they could continue their discussion later.

"Severus-" He had never seen Severus in such a rage, not since that incident in his sixth year, when poor Remus had come so close to-

"You _told me _you would protect them! And you didn't, did you? Lily _died_, didn't she? But I accepted it – I didn't _like _it, but I accepted it. And _still_ I helped you, did your bidding, followed your orders."

"Seve-"

"And then you told me to look after Potter's boy-"

"Harry," interjected Albus quietly, but Severus did not appear to have heard.

"_'Help me protect Lily's son'_, you said, and I didn't like it, I didn't like _him_: he was just like his father, talentless, conceited, determined to be the centre of attention, another Potter who believed breaking rules were his prerogative – and _you_ just encouraged him, Dumbledore – but I gave you my word, and I kept it, and protected him from Quirrell, from Black, from Lupin, from Karkaroff, from _Umbridge_, for Merlin's sake!"

"Se-"

"And _then_ you sent me back to the Dark Lord, sent me to spy on him, and I trusted you, even after all this time, I trusted you, and I played my part well – _too _well," and Albus inclined his head as he remembered when Alastor Moody had died during Harry's escape from Privet Drive, and how the Order had demanded that Severus prove his loyalty, until Albus himself had stepped in, "even when you duelled with the Dark Lord and-"

_And he very nearly killed you, _were the unspoken words, as Severus took another deep breath.

"- and _still_ I remained loyal to you, but _this!"_

Albus opened his mouth, but was left gaping like a Plimpy as the rant continued.

"You said you would protect them, Dumbledore! And look at them! Well, I hope you're happy! I hope you're satisfied! You got what you wanted!"

"Severus?"

But Severus had fallen silent, the fury leaving him as abruptly as he had arrived. He drooped, staring at the floor, as though exhausted.

Albus knew he had to push for the information, and at the same time feared that pushing the man any further could result in-

"Severus?"

Severus would not meet his eyes.

"Severus, what do you mean?"

And finally he looked up. "The Dark Lord is dead."

But Albus could not smile, would not smile. There had been something in Severus' tone that told him there was more to come.

"So is Potter."

_Harry?_ No. Severus must have made some mistake, he reasoned.

"_Dead?"_ The word came out as a strangled whisper.

There was no reply: no need for one.

"Harry, dead?" _No_... he couldn't be... "What do you mean, dead?" He had the Deathly Hallows: he was 'Master of Death' – invincible! He _couldn't possibly _be dead!

And suddenly Severus' anger had returned. "I mean dead, dead! Dead like Lily Eva- _Potter._ Dead like Draco Malfoy! Dead like Percival, Kendra and Ariana Dumbledore – don't think I don't know about them! Dead, Dumbledore, _dead!"_

For once, Albus didn't smile at the alliteration. "Severus, are you sure?"

"Sure?" Severus' face was twisted with pain and anger. "Of _course_ I'm bloody sure! You don't think I could leave Lily's son lying there like that? I checked _myself_!"

Albus looked Severus directly in the eye. Accomplished Legilimens though the Potions Master was, he could not stop the old wizard from catching a memory of green eyes, _beautiful green eyes,_ before being violently thrown out of the man's mind.

"You sent him to his death! You knew he would die, you _knew _it, and you sent him anyway! Why?" And now Severus was pleading, and Albus could have sworn there were tears in his eyes. "Why him? Why did you do it? And why Lily's son?" _Why couldn't you send me instead?_

But Albus could not answer.

"'For the greater good'," hissed the grieving man, "is that it, Dumbledore? How many lives? How many lives lost 'for the greater good'? How many more? I know you, Dumbledore. You're no better than the Dark Lord yourself."

And Severus swept from the room.

"You're pushing that boy to the limit, you know," observed Phineas Nigellus – who still, even after nearly a hundred years, considered all Slytherins to be his personal responsibility.

Albus was still staring at the doorway. "Severus can handle it." _He always does._

Phineas gave a dissident sniff and fell silent, leaving the current Headmaster of Hogwarts to his own thoughts.

_Dead like Ariana Dumbledore._

Albus could feel a terrible cold in his bones. It was the same feeling as after _that_ duel, after his brother had- after Gellert- after he had realised that his sister...

_Dead like Ariana. How many lives?_

He could not think. _How many more for the greater good?_ He could only hear Severus' words echoing round his head, echoed by Gellert's, words he hadn't heard since 1945.

"_You're no better than the Dark Lord yourself."_  
"_You're no better than me, Albus. I know you. I know how you lust for power, like me."_

Albus shook his head, as though hoping that would clear it. "Leave me alone," he said to the empty room. "Are ninety years' penance not enough?"

_"I know you, Dumbledore."_  
"_Just remember, Albus. I know you too well..."_

But he knew they were not. The pain would never end. He had known that for years.

* * *

Severus had had enough. _Enough! _But he glided through the corridors, outwardly serene. Not that there was anyone to notice; the portraits were empty, their occupants joining all the students in the celebrations in the Great Hall.

What was it Dumbledore always said? "Severus can handle it." Well, Severus couldn't handle it. Not this time.

He reached the Entrance Hall, and opened one of the great double doors.

There would be Dementors out in the grounds, feasting on the murder, the pain felt by so many grieving relatives. Dumbledore would need to get rid of them, eventually, but the Wizarding World had other things on its mind just then.

He needed to get away – from Dumbledore: Dumbledore and his manipulation.

As Severus approached the creatures, the voices returned.

"_I can't pretend any more..."_

And the wedding bells. Lily's wedding.

"_I love him, Sev."_

He just wanted to be left _alone. _What further use could Dumbledore possibly have left for him?

"_Snape, if you don't run any faster, you're dead! And so am I! Werewolves don't hang about, you know!"_

He wasn't as young or as vibrant as he had once been, and his soul had been damaged irreparably by the many killings he had witnessed and participated in, but perhaps...

"_He's cruel and beastly. He pulls the legs off spiders..."_

Yes, one of them was approaching

"_Keep away from him, Lily... he's not nice..."_

'Like death warmed up', wasn't that what Dementors were supposed to look like?

"_You call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"_

The Dementor came closer... until he could see its scabby grey skin underneath the hood.

"_You disgust me."_

It suddenly struck Severus that he had no idea how it felt to be Kissed...

"_I've made excuses for years..."_

Or even kissed...

"_Precious little Death Eater friends..."_

If it didn't hurry up, he would lose his nerve.

"_Kill me like you killed him, you coward!"_

He could hear its rattling breaths...

"_I won't bother in future..."_

It closed its lips on his...

"_I'm sorry, Toby- Toby, NO! Don't touch Severus!"_

If he closed his eyes, maybe he could pretend...

"_Seventh month dies... The Potters. It must be the Potters..."_

Lily... where was Lily?

"_I'd wash your pants if I were you, _Snivellus."

Severus slumped into oblivion.

And the Dementor dropped its latest victim and swept off into the night.

* * *

**AN: Read and review! Not mine, never was, never will be. And thankyou to my beta, whose name, and I quote, "doesn't matter". (Btw, Toby is Tobias Snape, Sev's dad)  
**


End file.
